Extracted from our BUDI's personal experience and other biased perspectives ;P
It's 2022 and the first month of it has nearly ended!! Btw, how's your resolutions going so far? Hope you have a brilliant progress and able to proudly announced what you can achieve this year. But incase you feel the opposites, please do not screw and blame yourself too hard. The core of the problem may be not on you, but on the approach when you draft your resolutions. Continue to read this on, and let's discuss!
First, we would like to share Budi's story. Always looks so smiley on our Instagram, Budi entered 2022 with ever-growing pressure and uncertainty. Thousands of plans that didn't work out, the tough time when you had to overcome the same challenges over and over again, no life hack succeeded, dreams that remained far away from reality, ambition crushed, ugh! It's painful in the inside, you know!
Budi want to give up, but at the core of his heart, he want at least to give the last shoot. and it should be the best one. You may follow this kind perspective in mind to get yourself being ready to continue and make a little progress. When you think that you are gonna fail, first thing first, try to forgive yourself and embrace your anxiety. You will taste a bit of bitterness, but human is not perfect after all. Like standard batteries, life needs a balance of positivity and negativity. Well, it's easier to say than to do, we know - but you definitely deserve a second change!
If we took a bigger picture, research has captured this problematic scenario and dilemma. We knew that youth now have better access to education than the previous generation, resulting in higher self-awareness and competition. But, this fact has also led youth to be more vulnerable having mental health issues. This explained why statistics also showed youth around 20-35 are more invested in personal growth than any other generation. The younger generations who dominated the social media platform - Gen Z, has also contributed in making topic around mental health and self-development trending across the digital world. This trends also led to the continued sales increase of self-help books and skill development classes over the years.
Despite the high exposure to self-development and more likely to engage in the discussion, the younger generation find struggles to build a successful career roadmap and life plans. An earlier study in 2007 showed that only 12% of people who set resolutions are successful even though 52% of the participants were confident of success at the beginning.
So, yes! If you feel like you have tried all the best to create a perfect plan and still failed, you are not alone, mate! In fact, we bet that you will also come to a certain phase in your life, when you finally realise that no one can teach you how to be you. YES, NO ONE CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO BE YOU!
Therefore, fully copy-pasting the plan and trust to a single personal development methodology is terrible advice. Instead of starting to finding the answer for the external resources - which may not be in line with your condition, the very first step is actually to look out to the center of yourself. You may need professional help to get you more aware of yourself and assessed what you actually need, but you seriously need to embrace your whole soul and ask what do you value the most in life. sounds too religious? well, if it's not you who trying to understand yourself, then no one will.
Back to the topic of new year resolutions, there are two common reasons why your plan would never succeed.
First, endlessly listing your resolutions creates an illusion that you have made progress.
Our brain is full of fear. The system will automatically find a way to avoid painful experiences. Exposing our mind to an endless to-do list and abundant goals would give a red alarm to the core system in our brain to delay the actions.
On the other hand, the brain also creates imaginary scenes where you have a step ahead after making a list of goals. Therefore, some of you might feel more confident after making a "plan." However, while you think your life is under control, you also have to suffer from hyper procrastination.
Second, you put yourself on an ambitious mission without clear directions and priorities.
You forced yourself to work hard and imagine yourself in the future would land in a great place, doing great things, with great people. You think that that kind of fantasy is enough to make you constantly move. It would be best if you didn't leave the root of your purpose - every reason why you'd need to go there. This way, you would have a more focused direction and lead you in crafting a better plan in the process.
So, what's to do in order to make a better plan? This is what Budi trying to do, and let's see if this is suitable for you too:
#1 Focus on building a new habit, not a goal
Quite often, we only focus on building a great purpose for our life, which is not totally wrong. However, a goal doesn't provide any tools to direct ourselves towards achieving it.
If you ever heard of "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, it explained that all significant actions in our daily life were the results of our habits. Our simple calculation suggested that if we concentrate on building better practice and being slightly better people every day, we will be 365 times better than our old selves in a year!
By being better, you would be more ready to take more opportunities. So for now, start with paying attention to your habit, continuously make a small win, and you will be surprised when you finally get the chance to switch the opportunity into a success. Good luck, bro!
#2 Plan is like a seed: cover it, nurture it.
Some experts suggested not publicly sharing your detailed plan too early. This action would prevent you from being easily distracted by external opinions or judgement. Instead, just like a seed of a beautiful plant, your dreams should be covered well and consistently nurtured.
Focus on your own progress and enjoy every process. Some of your friends may have already achieved a new milestone in their life while you are still in the early process. And it’s totally fine. The only person you should beat everyday is your own self.
#3 There is no shame in asking help, but help people how to help you
Asking for help and questioning your approach is a sign of growth. Sometimes, when in doubt you will require some advice from your respective circle, and it’s good. However, if we cannot provide the right context of our problem, we may ended up receiving a bad advice too.
Like a famous proverb saying that questions are more important than the answers, having better questions will lead us to more constructive feedback and train your problem-solving skills. You can start by improving your sense to understand your context.
Put this in your mind: other people may be more expert than you - which is true, but it is also true that no one can teach you how to be you, and no one understands you better than yourself (Except maybe Google and Facebook haha). So before you are searching for an answer for external resources, always identify what is the core problem is.
Provide a context, identify what you can do to test your assumption, and observes what went well and what doesn't work. By identifying this, you are not only helping yourself in define the right problem, but also helping your mentor/senior understand things that do not work for you. This way, your mentor/senior could probably share better advice and a new approach that may work for you.
For example, before you ask your senior/mentor on how to get your content popular, start identifying your core problem first. Instead of asking general questions on how to make a popular content, you should start with the vision. Why you want to make a content, how you think your content will be beneficial for other people, and what you ha done so far in order to achieve the goal. Do your homework, to assess your problem, then you will ask better questions and find better ways to ask for help.
Developing a successful plan requires constant learning. It may take more time than you imagine. Sometimes you must fail again. However, keep trusting yourself and have the courage to find the real you ;))
Feel free to drop your story on this too and comment how you will improve for better plan execution next!
If you find this helpful, please share it with your whole universe! THANKS XOXO
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